Shore Leave
by Katherine Shepard
Summary: Kelly books a garish hotel room for her and Joker on a rare shore leave. M for content towards the end, but nothing very explicit.


"I didn't even know places like this existed on the Citadel," Joker remarked, green eyes sliding around the elaborate hotel room Kelly had booked. With the Normandy docked for repairs, the crew found themselves with an absurd amount of free time. It had been Kelly's idea for them to leave the ship, at least for a weekend, and had arranged for the penthouse suite at the Citadel's most expensive lodge.

Designed more with newlyweds in mind, the so-called "honeymoon suites" were suitably decorated in deep reds and luxurious velvets. Well, depending on the species using the room, anyway. In humanity's case, everything resembled something out of a 20th century Poconos brochure, complete with the heart-shaped hot tub in the oversized bathroom and circular bed in the center of the room. It was tacky, but Kelly had been entirely to enthusiastic about the decor for Joker to deny her this small pleasure. Even if said decor made his eyes want to bleed.

As Kelly romped through the room, squealing at this and that, Joker hobbled over to the massive bed and flopped onto it. With some difficulty, he prised his boots off, put them alongside the bed and began unfastening the thigh harness portion of his flight uniform. Freed from their constraints, Joker heaved a deep sigh of relief and rubbed his legs gingerly. Kelly emerged from the bathroom a moment later, grinning like a loon as she skipped over to join him on the bed.

Careful not to jostle him too much, Kelly shuffled across the bed towards him and hugged him about the shoulders. She buried her face in his neck, murmuring incoherantly against his skin and causing gooseflesh to prickle across his body. He wasn't an idiot -- he knew why she'd brought him here, not that he was arguing against her true intentions. It had been a long, long time since he'd been able to really relax and enjoy a proper bed. Even if the bed would look like a mini-warzone once they were done with it.

Kelly drew away from him slightly, a drowsy smile on her face as she gazed up at him adoringly. "I want to take a bath," she purred. "It's so big and beautiful, it'd be a waste to come here and not use it!"

"A bath?" Joker repeated, one brow quirking as a short laugh left his throat. "You don't have to use that as an excuse to get me naked, you know."

Kelly smirked playfully at him, then hopped off the bed. Joker watched her strip her uniform off as she paraded back into the bathroom. The sight of her bare bottom disappearing around the doorframe made him swallow hard. Okay, maybe a bath wasn't such a bad idea! He scooted closer to the edge of the bed and pushed himself upright. He heard the water running as he neared the large room and peered through the doorway.

Positioned with her rump high in the air, Kelly was bent over the faucets, fussing with the temperture intently. Again, Joker swallowed hard, this time with even more difficulty. He hadn't seen a view like that since their time in the medlab. The temptation to tweak her in a very inappropiate place thundered through his mind, causing him to stifle an evil laugh. Kelly looked around her shoulder at him, frowning. "You're still dressed," she declared matter-of-factly.

"In case you forget, I could use a little assistance," Joker returned with a wink as he lowered himself onto the toilet seat. Kelly wrinkled her nose up at him, tongue peeping between her lips in a girlish expression of rebuttal. Joker laughed. "Keep making that face it might stay that way."

"That's physically impossible, by the way," Kelly remarked airily as she sashayed over to him. Joker made an inconsequential noise, twirling his finger in the air as he did so in a gesture of nonchalance. Kelly ignored it and crouched in front of him. "You got your boots off all right," she muttered as she fumbled with his belt and unfastened his pants. She paused in the act of drawing them down, blinking. "You're wearing your braces today?"

"Legs have been bothering me since the crash landing on the Collector base," Joker admitted reluctantly. "I needed the extra support."

He averted his gaze when she looked up at him in concern. "It's not a big deal," he assured her. "Just happens sometimes. Come on, if you don't get me naked soon, the tub'll overflow."

Kelly resumed undressing him, content to let the matter drop as usual. Joker had to give her that: she very rarely fussed over his condition. Sure, she displayed concern whenever he'd wince, but she never insisted he stop living. He smiled softly down at her bent head, small hands shimmying his pants down his calves with careful precision. He'd been turned off considerably the first time he'd met her. He never had much of an opinion of shrinks, especially when they made it their business to skulk around the ship, eyeballing the crew like a krogan at a free fish buffet. She did a little skulking, at least in the beginning, always entering God-knew-what into her datapad before returning to her station.

She'd confessed to always wanting him from the moment she saw him. She'd been among the only crew members present when he'd first boarded the Normandy. They'd shared a glance over the CIC before he'd turned his back and assumed his station. Until the first encounter, he'd barely given her a second thought; clearly, that hadn't been her case. It still confused him to think that anyone would want him in that sense and without his even trying to boot. How hard he'd had to fight for everything he had and here was someone giving themselves without pity or prompting. It was still pretty new to him, sometimes leaving him staring into space and wondering if life truly had been better before this.

"There," Kelly announced, breaking into his thoughts as she rose and draped his flight pants over the edge of the sink. "I'm pretty sure you can take your shirt off yourself; like you said, the tub is going to spill over if I don't get back to it." She smiled warmly at him before returning to the running water taps. He pulled his top over his head, pausing to watch her turn the water off and test the temperture with her foot. She flashed him a satisfactory grin, then took his hands to lead him over to the heart-shaped bathtub.

Joker peered into the steaming water, whistling low at the depth of the tub itself. "Sucker's huge," he observed. "Sure we won't drown in this thing?"

"Pretty sure no one's drowned," Kelly assured him with an amused look. "It's the perfect temperature! Here!" She thrust his hand into the water, giggling when he made a startled noise. Thankfully, she was considerate enough to support him about the waist even as she sent him slightly off-balance. "See?" she prompted when he'd taken his hand back, shaking the water off limply.

"Yeah, great," Joker muttered.

"Don't be such a poop!" Kelly admonished with a wave of her hand.

"Poop?" Joker echoed in an undertone as Kelly slid into the water with a contented groan. "For the record, talking about poop isn't the best aphrodisiac," he reminded her, carefully stepping into the tub after her. Kelly flicked water droplets at him in response and dunked herself, wetting her short hair. Joker amused himself by squeezing water through his cupped hands, grinning wickedly when the stream struck Kelly in the face. She sputtered a bit, then returned fire in the same manner. Soon, a full-blown water fight ensued, their laughter echoing in the large bathroom.

"Uncle!" Joker cried when Kelly made to dunk him under the water, fending off her flailing hands with his own. She relinquished the attempt, but remained between his spread knees, face partially concealed by the shifting water. "Now you look like Jaws."

Kelly hummed the classic movie's theme, templing her hands between them and mimicking a shark's fin. She poked his chest lightly, giggling when he feigned being dragged into the water.

"Gonna need a bigger boat!" he exclaimed dramatically. "Man, this makes me wish I had some toy boats. I don't think my model Normandy would float, though..."

"Maybe we'll find some that can later," Kelly mused, still slicing through the water with her hands idly. "Or something silly, like a krogan-shaped rubber ducky..."

"I don't think I'd be comfortable sharing a bath with a krogan, rubber or otherwise," Joker said with a shudder. "Their idea of a water fight probably involves headbutting and biting."

"Mmm, I don't think they play the same way humans do," Kelly replied thoughtfully. "I mean, they do play, but it's very rough."

"You play with many krogan?"

"No, but I did intern at a fertility clinic on Illium for a few years during college." She smiled at the memory. "Krogan babies are impossibly adorable. Big, but adorable."

"I'm sorry. I think I'd have to see a krogan baby before I'd call one cute," Joker held his hands up and shrugged. Kelly grinned. "Why did you work there?"

"The experience. I feel for the krogan, I really do. Having that taken from them was horrible!"

"That's a topic I have no real opinion in," Joker admitted. "Wrex would talk about it to Shepard, but he didn't really do the buddy-buddy thing with me, like, at all."

"Krogan are admittedly hard to make friends with," Kelly conceded slowly. "But when you do, they're friends for life. Provided you don't betray them, that is, but the same could be said for all species."

"That's some life you've had before the Normandy," Joker said with some amazement. "Did this happen before you joined Cerberus, too?"

"I was chosen for the Normandy about a year or so after the commander had been recovered," Kelly's voice was almost too low to hear, even in the cavernous bathroom. "The Illusive Man was very...thorough about what he expected of anyone working on the Normandy. We were told to do everything in our power to assist Shepard and the mission." She paused, hands still swimming lazily through the water between them. "I didn't think the Collectors could get on-board, though."

Joker averted his eyes guiltily. They hadn't said much about that since Shepard had rescued the crew. Being someone who didn't like it when bad things were brought up, he never pressed the issue. Talking about sensitive things had never been a strong point. It was easier -- and preferable -- to keep those things from his thoughts and from conversation. He also hated feeling helpless and when the Collectors had invaded the ship, helplessness was all he had. Growing up with his condition, he'd had to endure a lot of well-meaning relatives fawning over him, no matter how often his mother shooed them off him. She knew he didn't like being coddled, especially not because he was brittle-boned. She'd had to protect him as a child, usually from enthusiastic-about-babies aunts and older cousins.

Once he'd reached childhood and was hobbling around on crutches, braces on his scrawny legs, he began to make it a point to avoid those who would treat him differently. It had gotten so bad, he'd learned how to swing himself out of range effectively on his crutches before making a loping getaway.

He didn't like to admit it, but he was grateful to Cerberus, to the Illusive Man, for outfitting him with special implants in his thigh muscles that allowed him to walk with less difficulty. He still limped and it still took a eternity to reach the elevator from the cockpit, but it was better than wrestling with crutches whenever he wanted to move around. Modern medical science had managed to temper the more unpleasant side-effects of Vrolek's, but his bones would always be frail. He'd come to terms with his limitations, until they got in the way of protecting that which he held dear and he held very little dear.

Joker grimaced at himself. Self-loathing was never something he enjoyed inflicting on himself, not when he had so much to be proud of. Best damn pilot in the galaxy, right? Able to handle any ship given to him. Not the average pilot, anything but that. Best damn...

The gentle touch of Kelly's hand on his cheek brought him back, and he looked down at her. She stroked his skin with her thumb slowly, her soft green eyes traveling up and down his face. Sensing her intentions, Joker inclined his head and kissed her. She returned the kiss, her arms sliding over his shoulders and around his neck as the kiss deepened. He caressed her wet back, sliding his fingertips down the length of her spine and making her moan against his lips. She arched against his chest, fingers creeping into his short hair as they shifted to the center of the bathtub.

Joker broke the kiss to nip at her throat, hands pulling her legs up and over his hips. Kelly turned her head to allow him greater access to her neck, sighing with pleasure at every brush of his mouth and tongue. Her sighs turned to sharp intakes of breath when she felt him slip across her sex. As arousing as it was to consider making love right then and there, Kelly knew she wanted to have a proper night in the proper setting.

"Not in here," she whispered huskily, taking his face in her hands and angling his head so he was looking at her. "The bed."

Joker said nothing in response, but kissed her again briefly, then released her when she made to stand. They dried off as best they could given their hazy, passion-filled mindset and ambled out to the bedroom. Joker took Kelly into his arms the moment they reached the circular expanse of red velvet, lowering them onto its softness. He pressed Kelly onto her back, then resumed his attentions to her neck.

While she writhed beneath him, Joker pushed himself further down her body, his lips igniting a hot path across her flushed skin. He paused to nuzzle her flat belly, enjoying the contrast of her softness and his beard against his face. His hands moved up and down her waist, his fingertips teasing the sides of her breasts with each upward stroke. He felt her hands in his hair, clenching and unclenching as he continued to caress her.

Managing to inch himself far down the bed and her body, Joker tapped her thighs gently. Understanding, Kelly bent her legs, parting them when he gave two more small taps on the inside of her knees. She watched, captivated, as he disappeared between her spread thighs. A throaty gasp escaped her lips when his mouth made contact, the slippery sensation of his tongue flickering over her causing her to grip the bedspread in both hands.

Joker kept this up until the sheets had all but been ripped off the bed by Kelly, who was thrashing beneath him, voice hoarse from harsh breathing and gulping cries. She managed to force his name out, nothing more than a high-pitched plea for release. She loved feeling his hot breath, relentless tongue, and probing fingers, but wanted so much more.

Finally, Joker rose up, his thumb sliding across his lower lip with deliberate slowness. The sight of his heavy-lidded green eyes peering at her from over her sex sent the throes of her first orgasm quaking through her. She clenched her teeth on a sharp, hissing shriek, fingers raw from gripping the bedspread so tightly. It had barely subsided when Joker returned to her side, moist lips nuzzling her jaw lazily. She turned her face to him and captured his mouth with hers, the intensity of the kiss surprising them both.

"I need to get you back for that," Kelly declared breathlessly when they'd parted. Joker grinned as if that had been his plan all along and casually folded his arms behind his head. Kelly gave an exhausted chuckle, then rolled over onto her belly with a small 'oof'. She rested her cheek on his belly for a bit, smiling affectionately up at him. He returned the lazy smile, green eyes searching her face as if wishing to commit her features to memory. His expression shifted from pleased to startled, even as Kelly's face split into a wide grin.

"Hey..." Joker muttered, arms coming down from behind his head. "You little sneak. You were distracting me!"

"Me?" Kelly repeated with mock innocence, rising up on one elbow. "Oh my, where's my other hand? Oh, there it is!" She beamed at him, twisting her body to reveal she'd already begun stroking him slowly. "Right where it belongs."

"No comment," Joker said, his eyes closing in pleasure. Kelly gave a soft giggle, then sat up completely. Her other hand joined its twin, causing Joker to inhale deeply and sharply at the dual contact. She stroked him gently for a few minutes, sometimes passing her palm across the head and making him tighten up again. It had always amused her how men could screw up their faces as though in agony when it was the complete opposite. Joker's features were similarly contorted, his lower lip caught firmly between his teeth as he struggled to withstand the sensations emanating from his groin. Kelly looked on him with near pity: he wouldn't be able to hold on for much longer, not with what she was about to do.

True to her suspicions, Joker lost his resolve when Kelly took him into her mouth. He snarled out something sounding a lot like 'oh-jesus-christ-damn-shit', followed by a few panting breaths as she began to move swiftly up and down his length. She kept up a rapid pace for a few minutes, then slowed to an almost agonizing crawl, turning Joker's heavy breathing into small mewling grunts.

It didn't take long for Kelly to feel Joker's hand pawing at her leg desperately. She turned her head towards him, mouth still firmly enclosed around him and eyed him curiously. He gave her such an incredulous, don't-do-this-to-me look she choked on a laugh and released him. Her eyes were apologetic as she wiped her mouth off with the back of her hand. She rose up onto her knees and shuffled towards him. "I wanted to try something different tonight," she told him silkily, bending to drop a lingering kiss on his forehead. He murmured a response that sounded questioning even if no words formed. "Lay on your side," she instructed, gently rolling him. She then lay with her back to his chest and draped a leg over his thigh.

"Oh..." Joker breathed, comprehending. Kelly brought him closer to her opening, wriggling her bottom against his belly as she guided him inside. He gave a soft moan as he was taken completely in, his face coming to rest against the back of her head. Kelly pulled his arm around her waist and tucked it under her breasts, smiling contentedly when he gripped her tightly. They lay joined for awhile, seeming to enjoy the shared warmth between them, then Joker ventured a small thrust.

Kelly sighed dreamily as he moved within her with the slow, smooth motions she'd come to favor. There was no rush, no desperate race against time, not tonight. She cradled his cheek in one hand, turning her head till their foreheads met. He slipped his other arm under her and held her closer to him. Their lips met in a deep kiss, his upward thrusts beginning to intensify with each brief touch of their tongues. Kelly coiled her arm behind his head, holding fast as she was rocked in his embrace.

Joker maintained a steady pace until he felt the first stirrings of release, encouraging him to stop and hold himself deep within her. Kelly tightened around him, savoring the hiss that passed through his teeth and the intense grip he had around her body. A shift, a throb, and -- heat. Kelly rode his orgasm almost languidly, allowing it coax her second climax to wash over him. When the sensations subsided, Joker's hold on her relaxed and he fell against her as if completely worn out.

Kelly gingerly slipped away from him as he rolled onto his back with a soft grunt. She kissed his cheek, pausing to nuzzle his soft beard with her nose and making him chuckle weakly. "Geddoff..." he flapped his hand in her direction lazily and she giggled.

"No chance of that, Jeff," she promised him with another brief kiss. He made a noncommital noise, already well on his way to a post-coital nap. Catching the hint, Kelly curled up under his arm, closing her eyes contentedly when it came down to cradle her shoulders. She draped one leg over his thigh gingerly, snuggling as close as possible. He tugged the loose sheet over them, covering their bodies partially, then lolled his head against hers. Kelly caressed his beard absently as he dropped off, fighting her own exhaustion to keep staring up at him through lidded eyes. Men were so beautiful when they slept and she'd never had the opportunity to observe Joker before now.

His long lashes rested fanlike over his cheeks, his lips parted slightly as he breathed deeply and evenly. His short hair was damp from the bath and sweat; she stroked it briefly, always surprised to find it remarkably soft and silky for being trapped beneath his hat so often. She touched each barely-noticeable amber freckle that peppered his cheekbones, the curling hair on his neck. She turned her attention to his hands. Lifting one closer to her face, she shifted slightly in his embrace to lay partially on her back and held his hand up. She flexed his fingers one by one, marveling at their construction. These skilled hands, these beautiful skilled hands, controlled one of the leading elite vessels in the galaxy and had the power to make her weak in the knees. They were also a testament to his inner strength and how he'd never allowed his condition to hamper his dreams.

Her heart ready to burst from the rush of pride for him, Kelly placed his hand back on his chest and pressed closer to his side. So long as she was with him, the nightmares she'd endured on the Collector vessel couldn't touch her. Guarded by his tenacious strength, she could sleep. She relaxed against him as she surrendered herself to slumber, savoring the heat and nearness of him.

Unseen, Joker opened one eye and looked over at her. A small smile curled his lips, then he closed his eyes again and returned to sleep.

- end


End file.
